so close yet so distant..

how can i even say a word to you, how could i start a new conversation after so much have happen? see you so close with the rest, even sitting beside you, there wasnt any conversation to begin with. how disappointing to be after that one night of so much happiness even if its a dream just for me? only i could just dream of those happy moments, while some just is able to make use of the moment of being high n drunk to create those dream into reality. maybe i should give up, maybe now i just trying to push all my feelings to another, but i cant seem to stop those old memories, even when old memories are lesser in compare to those newer memories make. maybe it the different when u get close to someone u really have crush n liking on, then the one who u are close, but is that person who is loving u.. too much thinking, should just sit back n relax, read a book and forget about the world (: